Heero and the Refigerator Gnome
by Virny
Summary: There IS something that turns on the lights!
1. Who knew names were THAT long?

Heero and the Refrigerator Sprite   
  
Virny- Hallo guys and welcome back! This fic is what I consider humor.  
  
Heero- You have sick humor.....writing about me.  
  
Virny- Nyah I'm typing. Anywho anyone can read this. There's nothing wrong with it unless your name is Heero Yuy.  
  
Duo- Besides Hee-man this one's all about you.  
  
Heero- Shut up.  
  
Virny- Be nice!   
  
Quatre- So Miss Virny what is this about?  
  
Virny- Oh you're so polite! Well one day when you all are out on a mission Heero gets hungry and opens up the frige. And to his dismay something besides food and drinks is there.  
  
Heero- Dear good.  
  
Virny- Hmm......lemme see....Milliardo you're on duty today honey.  
  
Milliardo- She does not own us and keep her away from me.  
  
Virny- Suddenly I'm in love with Milliardo/Zechs and Wufei....amazing.  
  
Heero sat on the sofa in the living room. Having fun doing nothing what so ever. After staring at the wall for nearly an hour he became extremely hungry. Unhappy with this sensation he made his way in the kitchen and opened the door of the refrigerator.......  
  
"WHAT IN THE HOLY HECK IS THAT!?"  
  
Inside staring back at Heero was a pare of bright crimson eyes. Taken aback Heero flung himself onto the floor and stared on, shocked.   
  
"Who are you?"  
  
Along with the eyes the intruder in the refrigerator had dragging long platinum hair and a small leaf shirt and mini skirt. It smiled.  
  
"Hiya!" She piped up. "My name is Remena Depavella Caprella Senapella Mollyena Treevelna le Spree."  
  
Heero blinked rapidly. "Wha?"  
  
"Heehee. I lost you on the name huh?" Remena Depavella Caprella Senapella Mollyena Treevelna le Spree asked.  
  
"Uh......Can I call you Remi?"  
  
"Sure!"  
  
Virny- Well that's that chapter.  
  
Duo- You have to be kidding? That's hardly worth typing!  
  
Virny- Watch it you stupid American!  
  
Duo- Aren't you American too?  
  
Virny- So.....I was born in Germany anyway so nyah. That reason this chapter is so short I'm working on a comic called HYPHEN which hopefully if I get a scanner will be on keenspace. Plus I just got this idea for a fic called 'Fighting a dream Alone'  
  
Trowa- Is it G Wing?  
  
Virny- Yep. Plus I also went to FYE today and I'm saving up to by a G Wing tape with Quatre on the front.  
  
Quatre- ^_^  
  
Duo- Why don't you just watch TV?  
  
Virny- Duh! That was on three years ago when I was ten years old. So anyway.....LATER DAYS! 


	2. Hamster Boy

Virny- YAY! YAY! *dances happily*  
  
Wufei- What are you doing woman?  
  
Virny- I got a review!  
  
Duo- Whoopdy-doo!  
  
Virny- *stops* Gr......anyway I'd like to give a shout out to Cute Anime Kitty! Without your review I'd be depressed! You don't know how happy it made me feel!   
  
Duo- *gagging*  
  
Virny- QUIET! Anyway it's been WEEKS since my last update and I'm now the proud owner of Shooting Stars abd Cold Battle Field. (Heero's tape and Quatre's)  
  
Heero and Quatre- ^__^  
  
Virny- Anyway thanks again CAK! This chapter is just for you!   
  
Duo- *at gun point* The great Virny does not own Gundam Wing....*nervous* DEAR GOD PLEASE DON'T SHOOT ME!  
  
After realizing trying to eat now would make him wonder what the small creature did to the food Heero to the sprite and sat down on the sofa.  
  
"So what were you doing in there?" Heero asked.  
  
Remi smiled up at Heero. "I live in there."  
  
"Why?"   
  
Remi stood up and puffed her chest out proudly. "It is my duty as an official sprite officer to......"  
  
"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz............"  
  
".....HEY!"  
  
"AHHHHGAH! I'M AWAKE!! .....Oh....what? Sorry Remi did I fall asleep?"  
  
"Ya think?" Remi crossed her arms.  
  
"Heero we're back!"  
  
"Dear god it's Duo!" Without thinking Heero grabbed Remi and stuffed her into his mouth.  
  
Duo rounded the corner and face a puffy cheek Heero. "Uhm.....is this some project? Oo I know! It's you're science report! Days in the life of a hamster. Wow. I'm doing one on a snake."  
  
"Mmmphmabmammhmph....." Heero 'said'  
  
"Hey are you eating a jaw breaker?" Duo asked sitting next to Heero.  
  
Heero began to flail his arms and make pointless gestures Duo couldn't understand.  
  
"No fair! I WANT ONE!"  
  
"MAMAPHMM!"  
  
"Oh fine be that way," Duo turned around. "Anyway Quatre's mad at you 'cause you left the fridge open." As Duo walked away Heero heaved a sigh of relief.......then in came Trowa.  
  
"Heero what are you doing?" Trowa asked.  
  
"Mamphmmamammmohmgama....."  
  
"Uhmm....." Trowa looked at Heero.  
  
"Don't bother Hamster Boy," Duo shouted from his room. "He's had one acorn too many."  
  
Trowa nodded and left as Wufei entered.  
  
Heero spat out Remi. "ACK!" He jumped around in circles. "SHE BIT ME! SHE BIT ME! SHE! BIT! MEEEEEEEE!"  
  
"What in the name of everything sacred is that!?" Wufei shouted.  
  
Remi pointed angrily at Heero. "How dare you put me in your mouth! It's wet. It's smells. And it certainly ain't clean in there!"  
  
Duo came back out and noticed a wet and flustered Remi. "Whoa Heero. Either they put something new in the jawbreakers or your project is a cat, 'cause that's one mean fur ball!"  
  
"I'm no fur ball!" Remi yelled. "My name is Remena Depavella Caprella Senapella Mollyena Treevelna le Spree!"  
  
Quatre was the last to enter the room and looked rather flustered. "Guys the refrigerator light isn't working."  
  
"OH NO!" Remi shouted. "MYDUTIESASANOFFICERHAVEBEENNEGECTEDANDNOWI'LLHAVETOGOBACKTOTHEACADEMYAGAINFOREIGHTMOREYEARSOFTRAINING!!!"  
  
Trowa looked at Wufei. "Did you catch any of that?"  
  
"None," Wufei replied.  
  
"Ew Heero why'd you have her in your mouth?" Duo asked. "That's gross."  
  
"Shut up Duo ya think?" Heero groaned.   
  
Remi sat down on Heero's knee. "You people are weird. I'm leaving!"  
  
"No don't go!" Quatre protested. "Don't you can stay."  
  
"Really? YAY!"  
  
Virny- SHA-MAN KING!!!!  
  
Heero- Why'd you shout that?  
  
Virny- Shaman King! I saw Shaman King today!  
  
Heero- Lovely.  
  
Virny- ¬¬ Well anyway that was chapter two. Once again this chapter was made just for Cute Anime Kitty! Now everyone do the cheer we practiced.  
  
Everyone- *in skirts and shaking pom-poms* Cute, cute kitty you're the best! You reviewed first out of the rest! You made Virny happy inside. Way to go you fed her pride. Gooooooooooooooooooooooo CUTE ANIME KITTY!  
  
Virny- *clapping* YAY! WHOO! ENCORE!   
  
Everyone- Cute, cute kitty you're the best! You reviewed first out of the rest! You made Virny happy inside. Way to go you fed her pride. Gooooooooooooooooooooooo CUTE ANIME KITTY!  
  
Virny- Well there you go part two. I hope you like it Cute Anime Kitty. Later days! 


	3. Say hello to the little people

Virny- Well here we are again. I got another review. Thank you much Athena! You really are a goddess! YOU READ MY FIC! Man I was surprised when one person read it and now another. Man you rock. Thanks again guys. Oh and please send in any requests that you want for the fic. I consider everything and I like people with weird humor.  
  
Heero- Like you?  
  
Virny- Yep. Just like me. I've taken 6 different G Wing quizzes came out as each pilot once then Heero one more.   
  
Trowa- Pleasant.  
  
Virny- Yeah and I play the flute too so watch out.  
  
Trowa- O.O  
  
Virny- I'm sure by now you guys notice that I update basically everyday. Well today gets two updates.....maybe even one more!  
  
Quatre- Don't you get tired.  
  
Virny- Sleep? Don need it. Yeah that's right. I said and meant don.  
  
Wufei- Women....  
  
Virny- SILENCE CHANGY! BEFORE I BANISH YOU TO THE SHADOW REALM! Oops....wrong show. Oh well shush!   
  
Wufei-......  
  
Virny-^__^ Oh and Duo is fine after his run in with the gun. *fires it* *water comes out* Heehee...  
  
Duo- A water gun!? I Shinigami was scared to death by a water gun!  
  
Virny- Anyway.....lemme see......Oo...I've just had a vision.  
  
Quatre- What was it?  
  
Heero- Something dumb no doubt.  
  
Virny- It says.....Heero will be struck by lighting and....Duo you're yo-yo's under the couch?  
  
Duo- BILLY! *runs to get yo-yo*  
  
Virny- Whatever. I'll do the disclaimer this time. Me. Gundam Wing. Ownship does not make.  
  
Remi munched on a piece of apple Quatre gave her and smiled. "You know I was wondering....."  
  
"What Remi?" Heero asked.  
  
"How are you guys this big? It's not normal," Remi took another bite out of the apple.  
  
"We're not normal?" Duo asked. "Look who's the one smaller than an apple here?"  
  
Remi pointed to Duo and shrunk down, slightly smaller than herself. "You short cake."  
  
"AH! WHAD YOU DO TO MEH!" Duo shouted. His voice high pitched and squeaky.  
  
Wufei began to laugh as Duo attempted to adjust his voice. The Chinese pilot began to choke slightly and hit himself lightly on the chest. "Duo. You're so small."  
  
"No really," squeaked Duo. "Ya think I couldn't tell seeing there's a half eaten apple larger than me."  
  
"HAHAHA!" Wufei laughed some more.  
  
"You sound like Mickey Mouse," Quatre pointed out.  
  
"................"  
  
Heero picked up Duo and looked at him. "Remi what did you do?"  
  
"I shrunk him," Remi began chewing another apple bit.  
  
"Change him back," Heero ordered.  
  
"Yeah!" Duo shouted. "I have a mission in the morning!"  
  
"Yeah," Wufei began. "To get taller!" He went back into his laughing fit and was shortly joined by Trowa.  
  
Remi stuck out her tongue and tugged on the apple. "No. He made fun of me. Now he has to know how I feel."  
  
"Look this has gotten out of hand Remi. Please change Duo back and he'll apologize," the Arabian pilot tried to reason with the flustered sprite. "Besides. Wufei's behaveing like a three year-old."  
  
Suddenly in a flash of light Wufei was replace by a toddler look- a - like. Immediately he began to run around the room. He stopped behind each of the Gundam pilots (minus Duo) long enough to give each of them wedgies. After hearing their whines of discomfort Wufei ran around then darted outside.  
  
"CHANG!" Trowa shouted following the hyper active child.  
  
"Remi!" Heero shouted. "That's going far enough!"  
  
"........Heheheheh....." Remi pointed at Heero and was replaced by a brownish Teddy Bear hamster.   
  
"HOLY SHI....." Lighting crackled and electrocuted Heero.  
  
Virny- Told you so.  
  
Heero- A hamster? What possessed you to make me a hamster?  
  
Duo- *still squeaky* And why'd she shrink me?  
  
Wufei- WEDGIES FOR ALL! *runs*  
  
Trowa- Comere ya little brat! *chases after Wufei*  
  
Virny- Sorry this chapter was so short. I want a cliff hanger. But I promise the next chapter will be longer. And I'm thinking of making my new fic now. It's gonna be long. Chapters longer and not frequent updates. But have no fear this updates fast! Oh and guys I love it when people review and are nice. Being mean will only make me cranky but that's okay. You don't live with me. Well CAK and Athena I hoped you liked it....OH! And a special poem for Athena.  
  
Nice reviewer cool  
  
You make Virny jump with joy  
  
Please review this part  
  
Virny- Like my Haiku? Well....Later days! Ack! Late review thanks just found. Chibi Anime Assassin. You rock  
  
Chibi anime  
  
The smaller version of stuff  
  
Thank you for writing  
  
Virny- Like my Haiku? Well....Later days! (again) 


	4. Quatre means Four and Trowa is tall

Virny- Hi! My new fic is going well. Once again my buddy CAK beat ya to the punch and was first again. YOU ROCK!   
  
Heero- .......yay  
  
Virny- ¬¬ You just hate my skill....  
  
Heero- So?  
  
Virny- *falls* Anyway thanks for the support guys. HATRG SHALL COMMENCE NOW!  
  
Duo- Hey how come you always get first words?  
  
Virny- Well hmmm....let me think.............maybe because........IT'S MY FIC!  
  
Duo- O.O Oh okay.  
  
Virny- YAY! And to set everything off a random quote from G Wing Shooting Stars. (Note: Name who said it first you get something special) - Oh man I'm gonna have nightmares over this one!  
  
Virny- Wufei if you would.  
  
Wufei- It'd be my honor. Miss Woman here doesn't own Gundam Wing.  
  
Heero stared in disbelief....he was a hamster. The perfect solider.....AND CHARACTER OFF HAMTARO! "What the heke did you do to me!? Heke?"  
  
Quatre smiled happily at Heero and picked him up. "Oh you're so cute!"  
  
"HELP ME!!" Heero wailed.   
  
"Okay," Remi pointed at Quatre and suddenly there were three more than usual.  
  
The Quatres all looked at each other then said, "You're taking my name too seriously."  
  
Remi leaned back then began laughing. "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"  
  
Trowa burst in. "RUN FOR YOU LIVES!!"  
  
Everyone looked towards the door to see Wufei barreling inside the front door with a tractor coming for Trowa. "COME BACK TALL MAN! BWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"  
  
"Tall man huh?" Remi pondered.  
  
"No..." Heero whispered.  
  
"He could be taller...."   
  
"OW! DEAR GOD WHO LOWERED THE CEILING!?"   
  
"Remi...." Heero said threateningly.   
  
Wufei and his tractor zoomed out being chased by a eight times taller Trowa with a flute.  
  
"COME BACK HERE CHANGY!" Trowa shouted. He blew off key notes into the flute. (like me) Really off key notes.....(sometimes me)  
  
Everyone too busy doing something else didn't notice the hamster Heero sneak up and tie Remi up. His mouth opened wide and he shoved her in.   
  
"MEEP!"  
  
Everyone suddenly noticed then looked Heero and noticed his cheeks were VERY puffy.  
  
"Heero................."  
  
Virny- Okay I know the chapie (thanks CAK) was short but I want to work on FADA:DC a bit.  
  
Duo- I didn't appear.  
  
Virny- I know.  
  
Wufei- I got chased.  
  
Virny- I know.  
  
Trowa- You're stupid.  
  
Virny- I kno....HEY!  
  
Trowa- ^__^  
  
Virny- *stomping flute* I hate the flute! I only played it cause I couldn't make a sound out of anything else! I hope my dad can buy me the violin!  
  
Trowa- ;_;  
  
Quatre- ^__^  
  
Virny- Oh and for the contest here's a clue. It's a Gundam Pilot with hair a shade of brown. 


	5. Revival and Hamsterpult

Virny- I know it's been long but here I am with an update.

Duo- Long? Try two whole years!

Virny- I know and I'm sorry for lack of updates.

Wufei- What were you doing all this time?

Virny- I have a life you know. But that's not why. I've been working on other stories and didn't have any good ideas for my fics.

Heero- So basically you were slacking?

Virny- Shut up hamster boy. Anyway, it's summer break and I plan on updating this story more.

Quatre- What about the other one?

Virny- It's safe to say that my other fic won't be updated for a while. I know that ppl liked it but now that I'm older it seems kinda silly.

Wufei- Because you're a woman.

Virny- Even as a kid he's sexist. Anyway after all these years here chapter five of HATRG! Hit it Duo!

Duo- Even after all these years Virny still doesn't own G Wing!

Virny- ……….

The seven pilots (all Quatre's included) stopped what they were doing to stare at the puffy cheeked Heero Hamster who was sitting on the table.

"Heero…………….." Trowa said with a threatening tone though it was kinda hard to hear him. "Where's Remi?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Heero said. Actually it was more like "Imf hffv nof ideaf whaff yourf talkingff aboutfff."

"Heero!" All for Quatre's shouted at once. "Spit Remi out Now!"

"NOF!"

"YES!"

"NOF!"

"YES!"

"OWF!"

Heero spat out Remi and shouted and began hopping around on the table; holding his cheeks.

"Ow ow ow ow ow…." He chanted as he continued to hop. Like a pained pogo stick.

Remi glared at Heero as she wiped her self dry.

"Yuck," she said. "Hamster spit."

Wufei looked at Heero than a devilish grin came on his face. He ran over to the sink and pulled out a long spoon before running back over to Heero. He grabbed the "perfect hamster" and put him in the spoon.

"CATAPULT!" Wufei shouted and launched Heero into the living room.

Remi waved her hands just as Heero was about to hit the wall. Heero turned back into his normal form and size then smashed right into the wall. He fell over then a picture fell from the wall and onto his face.

Remi burst out laughing and fell onto the table; kicking out her legs. Duo glared and rolled the partially eaten apple on Remi and she began to complain when she couldn't move.

"Hey!" she shouted. "Lemme go!"

"No way in he—"

Thunder could be heard rumbling in the distance.

"—ck," Duo finished. A wise choice.

Wufei began running around again like a decrazed child till Trowa took his foot and stepped on him.

"Hey!" Wufei whined. "JERKJERKJERKJERKJERKJERKJERKJERKJERKJERKEJERK!"

Just when the things seemed to calm down the door flew open.

"WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU GUYS DOING?"

Virny- And that's it for today. Sorry it was uber short.

Duo- Aw! But I wanna see what happens next.

Virny- Then'll you'll have to wait for the next update.

Duo- But I don't wanna wait for another two years.

Virny- …………

Duo- Should I run now?

Virny- Uh-huh.

Duo takes off

Virny- Anyway I won't update in two years. Probably tomo or next weekend. As always your suggestions and reviews are encouraged and appreciated! I'd right comments about the last reviews, but just as Duo kept saying it's been too long and I can't remember. Hopefully the next chappie will be longer! Later days!

Duo- far away More like "Later Years"!

Virny- Oh that's it! goes to chase down Duo

Duo- far away OH MY GOD! Hey wait, that's me!

Wufei- Pineapples!

Trowa- Okay, this foolishness stops here!

Click!


End file.
